Mary “Mitzi” Louise O’Neill

Mary Derham O’Neill, a long-time Midland resident, died on February 2, 2026, at the age of 98.  Known by everyone as simply “Mitzi” (a nickname given to her as a child by her German nanny), she was born Mary Louise Derham in Merion, Pennsylvania, on November 29, 1927.  She was the youngest of three children, following behind her brother Jack and sister Betty.  Mitzi attended Mater Misericordiae Academy (now Merion Mercy Academy) under the tutelage of the Sisters of Mercy.  She was known as a precocious and spirited student and was named  “Most Graceful” by her classmates in 1945 when she graduated.  She trained and later taught classical ballet for seven years at the renowned Florence Cowanova School of Dance, the preeminent dance studio on Philadelphia’s Main Line whose notable students included Imogene Coca and Grace Kelly.  She was inducted into Dance Masters of America, of which she was a member for many years.

In 1951, Mitzi was introduced to Byrne O’Neill at a chance meeting in the Bull Tavern, a popular Main Line watering hole.  He famously proposed to her on their first date, and they were married on October 18, 1952.  Byrne was the sixth of nine brothers from the well-known O’Neill Clan of Phoenixville, PA.  As a result, she quickly learned the meaning of the adage:  “You don’t marry the man, you marry his family”.  But she relished being one of the “O’Neill Wives” and cherished her extended family ever since.  With her ballet days over, our mother used to say that she married our father so she could dance with his brother, Frank (who was a raconteur and excellent dancer himself).  But, we knew better – Byrne and Mitzi were absolutely and completely in love with each other for the 48 years they were married.

In 1957, Mitzi, Byrne and their two oldest sons moved to Midland where Byrne became a landman for O’Neill Properties.  Four more children followed, and the young brood became a fixture on the Midland family scene.  The next 20 years was a continuous cycle of school plays, sporting events, dance recitals, church functions and graduations.  Mitzi supported all her children’s activities and was a very active volunteer at various times with St. Ann’s School, Midland High School, City of Midland Swim Team, Little League, and Scouts, to name just a few.  In the 1970’s, she was part of a group of women who were instrumental in bringing Southwest Ballet to Midland for spring and winter performances.  Our mother was at times frustrated because her life during this period seemed to consist largely of being a chauffeur and short-order cook to her family (she often had to serve multiple dinners at 6 or 7 different times in a single evening).  But to us growing up, she was our number one cheerleader, listener, counselor, warden, enforcer, comforter, and keeper of the family traditions.

After all her children left home, Mitzi began supporting other causes which were close to her heart.  For many years, she was a tireless volunteer at Hospice of Midland.  Also at this time, she and some of her cheekier neighbors formed the infamous “Secret Six” club which became notorious for their multi-hour lunches (usually with few libations) at a reserved corner table in Midland Country Club’s main dining room (“We get a little loud” they would warn the maÎtre’d).  On a weekly basis for over 20 years, these women would argue politics, complain about taxes, debate crazy stories that appeared in The New York Times and bet on the German Lottery.  Many others aspired to join this exclusive group, but membership was strictly limited to the number of people who could fit into one member’s Cadillac.

Mitzi’s Catholic faith was the foundation of who she was.  As a member of St. Ann’s parish for over 60 years, she devoted countless hours to the Altar Society and other service organizations.  She was also a strong proponent of praying the rosary, which she quietly recited every day of her adult life.  “I’m saying my beads for you!” she would tell anyone who might be going through a tough time.  That assurance always made us feel like we had our own saint here on earth looking out for us.

Mitzi’s favorite saint was St. Jude, who is the Patron Saint of Lost Causes.  We found this somewhat ironic since she was always an optimist who saw the silver lining in even the darkest situations.  “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” she would say and had that phrase emblazoned on countless pillows, refrigerator magnets and needlepoint samplers just to remind everyone.  No matter, whenever she misplaced her keys or other items, she would say a prayer to St. Jude and, once the item was found, she would dutifully drive to St. Ann’s and put $5 in the collection box.  There were no lost causes in her book if you knew the right people.

Not surprisingly, she also loved Notre Dame and would never miss the chance to watch the Fighting Irish play football on television.  While she was not as vocal a fan as her husband, who would often scream loudly at the small screen after a bad play or bum call (“Byrne, you know they can’t hear you, right?” she would softly remind him), she was no less ardent.  Her support may have been subtler, but you can be sure her rosary beads were spinning on most Saturday afternoons in the Fall.  In fact, there were probably some seasons which might explain her devotion to St. Jude.

Above all else, Mitzi was devoted to her family.  She and Byrne (dec. October 2000) had six children together: Hank (Avery), Sean (dec. November 2020), Kathy (Peter Reed), Richie (Dee), Jim, and Patty (Ike Loose).  She also had eleven grandchildren and five great grandchildren.  Her extended family includes 44 nieces and nephews and countless others.

Mitzi never refused a glass of white wine (two ice cubes please), since “it is always 5:00 somewhere”.  She loved a good joke but could never remember the punch line.  She had an infectious and uncontrollable laugh which would leave her breathless and in tears.  She had an impressive collection of ugly Christmas sweaters which somehow looked like haute couture on her.  She always looked for the good in people and sought joy in even the simplest of situations.  Her high school classmates were right.  Throughout her life, our mother was the epitome of grace:  in her movement, in her style, in her demeanor and in her interactions with others.  “They don’t make ‘em like Mitzi anymore!” her brothers-in-law used to say.  Ain’t that the truth!

Mitzi’s children would like express our profound gratitude to Mary Cavazos, Rosario Barreto, Chasedy Berry, Norma Burnett, Marshinda Imoke and Mary Howell as well as the wonderful staff at Hospice of Midland who provided our mother with loving care and companionship in her final years.  We are eternally grateful for all your efforts.

A Vigil for the Deceased and Rosary Service will be held in St. Ann’s Chapel on Friday, February 20, 2026,  beginning at 5:30pm.  A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated at St. Ann’s Catholic Church on Saturday, February 21, 2026, at 10:00am.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorial donations be made to Hospice of Midland or the Byrne and Mitzi O’Neill Family Scholarship at the University of Notre Dame.

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