Ruth Ann Spence

Beloved "Ruthie": Grace, dignity, strength The mournful family of angelic Ruth "Ruthie" Spence has cause for tears and joy. Their lament comes in the death of the family's encouraging wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. By faith, the joy is that the soul of this courageous mortal being has fled her frail and ailing body to enter her "Heavenly Home" – her prayerful plea in her lingering and bravely fought illnesses well into age 72. "I was sure by now, God, You would have stepped down and wiped our tears away," her 13-year-old Midland granddaughter, Anna Marie Foster, wrote to her Lord during her grandmother's torturous last weeks, which were without complaint. "I will praise You through this storm." And so did they all: Anna and her family, especially her Grandfather, Charles "Charlie" Spence, Ruthie's husband of almost 55 years; her brother, Ryan Foster, 11; her mother, Pamela Ann Spence Foster, 42, and husband Dan Foster; and her uncle, David Spence, 53, of Michigan. Ruthie's Michigan grandchildren are Nicole, 27, and Aaron, 20. Great-grandchildren are Jasmine, 9, Conner, 7, and Brayden, 3. Virtuous and unyielding for the cause of goodness and kindness within her family and to her friends, Ruthie was a magnificent encourager. Self-effacing, she was never one to praise herself, but rather uplifted others. Throughout her illnesses, beginning in 1979 at age 40 with chronic asthma, Ruthie was blessed with miracles that ensured her life's journey beyond the biblical "threescore years and ten." Later, in 1987, she suffered respiratory arrest; brainstem surgery in March 1999 that saved her life but left her, uncomplaining, on a feeding tube for her remaining 13 years, a marvel; and a broken hip seven years ago. As her life faded in recent weeks, Ruthie, as always, expressed this amazing gratitude: She was "glad" it was she who suffered and not any members of her family, especially her husband and children and the grands, including her Midland grandchildren, Anna and Ryan, who lovingly called her "Mimi." They heartened and encouraged each other. "She inspired all of us to do better, to do things we didn't think or know we could," said Charles Spence, who adored her quiet strength, gentle forthrightness and resolve. She looked after him, just as he took care of her. Each weekday morning, she thoroughly inspected him before sending him, well fed (though it didn't show) to work and to serve the community. Her loving spirit traveled with him to and fro. Charles Aaron Spence was married to Ruth Ann Martin when she was 17 and he was 18 on the very night, around midnight, of their May 17, 1957 high school graduation at Keiser, a cotton-farming community in northeastern Arkansas. Their fathers were neighboring sharecroppers. They eloped in his father's pale blue 1953 Chevrolet pickup truck, crossed the Mississippi River into Mississippi, and were married by a justice of the peace in Holly Springs. Six weeks later, they "fessed up" to their secretive marriage and became recognized as a couple without job or home of their own. The excitement of carefree teenage romance was tempered by the prospect of duty to family and work, a livelihood. In the summer of 1957, Ruthie and Charles teamed up: chopping cotton at 40 cents per hour, $4 a day, $8 daily family income. Having enough of that, the Spence couple soon were on a bus, once again crossing the Mississippi River, this time into Tennessee. In Memphis, they got jobs at Sears Roebuck and Company's catalogue mail-order center. She earned $1.05 per hour in the shoe department. He earned a dime less, 95 cent per hour, by wrapping packages. Before the year was out, Charles was in the United States Air Force at the behest of his mother, who knew he needed a steady job. The father concurred. The bride lived at home with her parents, Ambrose M. "Slim" Martin and Bertie Martin, while Charles was away in the military. Their first-born, David, came forth in December 1958 in Osceola, Arkansas, while the father was serving in Korea. Pamela was born in August 1969, when her father was in Florence, Alabama in his second newspaper management-type job. His entry into the newspaper business was at the Topeka (Kansas) Capital-Journal in the early 1960s. As always, Ruthie supported Charles throughout his newspaper career, from Kansas to Alabama to Illinois (Carbondale) and then as publisher of the Bad Axe, Michigan, and Midland, Michigan, newspapers and, by December 1984, publisher of The Midland (Texas) Reporter-Telegram. "She did all my shopping" – from suits to ties and socks – in dressing him sharply and properly. He selected his own footwear for dress and for running and bicycling. "She inspected me before I walked out of the door," off to his newspaper work and often to meetings and to his freewill volunteerism chores. In recent years, as she grew increasingly frail, but still maintaining the home and cooking meals, Ruthie "always wanted me to stand up straight: 'Don't stoop over,' " she would kindly admonish him. "She is quite a lady," Charles said recently. At home, Ruthie was the consummate homemaker. She commanded, lovingly, the home-front, where she always was at peace. Charles delighted in her happiness and contentment there and especially with her grandchildren. A dutiful wife and mother and adoring grandmother, Ruthie was never a so-called "liberated woman", but held onto her convictions and loved the mercy of her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Always the "country girl" at heart, Ruthie "loved to serve people big Southern-style meals like she grew up with," Charles said in recalling the vegetable-fruit gardens, chicken coops and pig pens, and Sears Roebuck mail-order baby chicks, all sources for hearty home-cooked meals. Among her favorite dishes were cornbread and pinto beans, turnip greens and cornpone (hot-water cornbread), fried okra and potatoes, mashed or fried, sweet or Irish. In her last years as she grew frailer, from cane to rolling walker, she was content at home. In recent weeks during her last hospitalization, she was eager to "go home" to the Spence Midland home-place. As her strength diminished and she was unable to talk beyond slight whispers and then only occasionally, Ruthie was keenly aware of her mortality. She wished to go to her "Heavenly Home." She died on Tuesday, April 3, 2012. Services will be held at Midland's Fairmont Park Church of Christ, 3813 N. Midland Drive at 10:30 A.M. on Friday, April 6, 2012. Burial will be at Resthaven Memorial Park under direction of Nalley-Pickle & Welch Funeral Home & Crematory. Family visitation will be at the funeral home from 6 to 8 P.M. on Thursday evening, April 5, 2012. Pretty, petite and svelte at 5-foot-3 and never more than 105 pounds, Ruthie was in exemplary health until her 1979 encounter with chronic asthma triggered by her adverse reaction to aspirin. "She never ever complained," Charles said. "Just accepted her condition and lived life as fully as she could." In 1987, Ruthie collapsed, suffering from respiratory arrest. "It is a real tribute to the skill and great care of (critical-care pulmonologist) Dr. John McKenna that she enjoyed a full and robust life even with her physical limitations," Charles said. Her respiratory ailments were further treated at National Jewish Health (respiratory hospital) in Denver, Colorado. Since March 1999, Ruthie has taken in every bit of her nourishment through a feeding tube directly fitted to the stomach. Not even a sip of water could she swallow without it flowing into her lungs. She did, however, taste her favorite foods and drinks, but nothing beyond savoring the flavor. In 2005, she fell and suffered a broken hip. And, another medical miracle, Ruthie "turned the corner and got well (again)." She survived in God's time and with her primary physician's care and with her family's love and especially the adoring love of her grandchildren, including Midland-born Anna and Ryan. Their "Mimi" was soon home again. Lovingly and ardently, they gave her great heart, as did Ruthie's other "grands" and "greats." Through it all, she never complained. Her soaring inspiration in bravely accepting her illnesses inspired her daughter, Pamela, to become a physician's assistant (PA). Ruthie and Charles encouraged their son to become a Michigan schoolteacher after he left the newspaper business. "Always in the background, Ruthie always cheered us on, all the days of our lives and the days of her life," said the grievously saddened husband. As a tribute to his darling sweetheart, Charles, an aviator, registered their 1971 Beechcraft Bonanza V-35 "N826" to celebrate her August 26, 1939 birthday. After yet another flight to Midland from Michigan to be with his mother, Ruthie's son, David, grieved and hoped for the best in his mother's life. "We are obviously hoping for another miracle," David said. "I am not giving up that hope. The Lord will tell us when it is time . . . for all of us." -Written by Ed Todd, friend of the Spence family,